It’s hard to put into words how tired I am and it’s hard to be honest. I know I don’t have the most difficult job in the world ... but it’s certainly not the easiest. This week has been arduous, I still haven’t heard from the university and I’m becoming more and more aware of the fact that I might encounter bouts of exhaustion once I start my lectures. I’m not sure how I feel about working from eight in the morning until well after eight in the evening, not to mention the tiresome commuting which adds at least two hours, if not more to the day. It’s not a single journey, there’re at least three forms of transport involved and going to two schools in one day just makes me want to cry. I’ve mentioned that I don’t mind it but when you work in one place all day, it’s easier, that’s obvious. I would switch in a heartbeat.
Teaching is great when you have time to plan decent lessons, I need at least a day to think about the week and at the same time, life isn’t just about teaching. It’s about living. There are other elements that come into play, the cleanliness of one’s apartment, of one’s self and lastly, any sort of normal relationship with another human being would be beneficial at the moment. I thought I would be teaching less because I would be studying, I thought it would work out better but as it happens I have extra hours, which means more money and less time. Less time ... I’ve met people who work on a pitiful amount of sleep a night and seem to function competently but I wonder how well they’d be able to teach six classes of students between the ages of 5 and 9 followed by adult learners. I wonder if the students would enjoy their classes. I wonder if I’ll be able to do it.
Last year made so much sense to me, this year my brain hurts from all the modifications, all the revisions. I understand the disruptive nature of change which enables a company to develop. I just wish I had taken a step back before diving in.
On a more positive note, I finally managed to update my blog with a post (albeit a slight moan).